He moved faster here then he did in the entire 4th quarter.
Never would’ve expected an NBA Finals cover of Sports Illustrated to not include LeBron James, but this shot sums up the defensive effort Dwyane Wade is giving is this series. Just flying at everyone, 7-footers included.
But we want James, along with Bosh and Wade, to be the asshole narcissists that we assumed they would be just over a year ago precisely so we can turn around and call them asshole narcissists. After all, we’re not dealing with just any team. This is LeBron’s team. This is the man we dubbed the King on the team we decided was Evil, and any amount of goalpost-moving could be justified so long as we could feel safe in saying Lebron and the Heat were doing the Wrong Thing, whatever they were doing. Last night, something happened that usually gives the Doyels of the world a series of full-body orgasms. The best player on the floor passed the ball instead of shooting it. He made the smart play but not the alpha dog play, and today some grumpy people are snarking all over him for doing so. The only thing that’s shrunken here is our idea of what a great basketball player should be.
But don’t you understand? We need a villain. America thrives on villains. That’s why we elevated the Cold War to such heights. That’s why Neoconservatives were able to scare the country into going to war against Saddam Hussein even though he had nothing to do with 9/11. That’s why we need batman!
In the (somewhat immortal) words of Captain James Gordon “[LeBron’s] the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.
Okay, so that doesn’t exactly work, but you get my point. We need to hate, it’s the American thing to do, and why not LeBron? He did something we didn’t like with a supernatural level of navitee about what he was doing.
And that’s my case for why we should continue to paint 2 1/2 Men (because I refuse to put Bosh on any level near James/Wade) as narcissistic assholes, not because I want to. But because it’s for the best interest of the country as a whole.
Basketball is a fickle mistress. Fortunes can change on a dime.
It is imperative that Dallas wins Game 3. You must put Miami behind. The Mavs had a good chance to win G1, but couldn’t execute. Miami melted down in G2. Somebody’s taking this lady to the dance. Whoever makes the move Sunday is in the driver’s seat.
Dear Dallas fans,
You will matter on Sunday. Rarely do we laymen have the opportunity to impact a series in a meaningful way. It can happen this weekend.
Miami is on tilt after that gut-wrenching loss, and you must keep the pressure on. Do not relent. Do not be afraid. You can carry your team.
Do it for all of us that cannot be there with you.
True story. We, as a nation, must do everything we can to delay the championship of the Miami Heat. Sure, it’ll likely happen, and more than once, but they have to earn it. That team is a joke. It’s like that terrible sitcom that somehow is the highest rated show on television. It’s just 2 super stars and Bosh. Or to put it another way… 2 and Half Men.